Anger Management

Anger is a natural response to feeling attacked, deceived, frustrated or treated unfairly. Everyone gets angry sometimes. Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. Anger only becomes a problem when it effects/harms you or people around you. Anger management can help you.

This can happen when:

1. You regularly express your anger through unhelpful or destructive behaviour

2. Your anger is having a negative impact on your overall mental and physical health

3. If the way you behave when you feel angry is causing you problems in your life or relationships.

It’s worth thinking about ways you can choose to manage anger, and learning about your options for treatment and support.

You could be angry at a specific person or event (a traffic jam, a canceled event), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.

Some physical signs of anger include:

1. Increased and rapid heart rate

2. Shaking or trembling

3. Sweating, especially your palms

4. Dizziness.

Some emotional signs of anger include:

1. Feeling anxious

2. Being resentful

3. Feeling guilty

4. Being irritated.

Some other signs of anger include:

1. Pacing

2. Becoming sarcastic

3. Raising your voice

4. Beginning to yell, scream or cry.

How can I manage my anger?

It is important to learn to understand your anger and it may be useful to know some techniques that can limit the chances of it coming out in a way that is damaging. Learn your triggers – it may be helpful to keep a diary about the times and situations where you felt angry.

Diary – You can include answers to the following questions:

1. What were the circumstances?

2. Did someone say or do something to trigger your anger?

3. How did you feel?

4. How did you behave?

5. How did you feel afterwards?

By doing this, you will probably see a pattern emerging. Just recognising what makes you angry may be helpful enough.

Calming techniques – you could try some of the following:

1. Breathing slowly – breathe out for longer than you breathe in and relax 

2. Counting to 10 before you react to anything – this can help on what to do

3. Doing something creative – use your energy and focus towards something positive 

4. Listen to calming music – this can help change you mood very quickly 

5. Using relaxation techniques such as yoga or meditation

Daily techniques – improve your management by:

1. Making time to relax regularly, and ensure that you get enough sleep

2. Running, walking, swimming, yoga and meditation are a great help

3. Writing, making music, dancing or painting can reduce feelings of anger

4. Discussing your feelings with a friend can be useful

5. Physical sports or going to the gym is a good way to get rid of irritation and anger

Consequences of un-managed anger

If uncontrolled anger leads to domestic violence (violence or threatening behaviour within the home), there are places that offer help and support.

Talking treatments – Including counselling and psychotherapy, Talking treatments can help you understand why you feel as you do and change the way you feel and think. It will also help to reduce the risk of further episodes.

Anger management programs –  A typical anger management program may involve one-to-one counselling. The program can consist of a one-day a week. In some cases, it may be over a couple of months.